Ever since I could remember, I thought myself to be different from the norm. Whether it was the way I dress, friends I have, or the approach I took to solve problems, I am “out of the ordinary!” As for every young kid growing up in such a simple yet hostile environment (refer to as the “All American” middle and high school), being different is not exactly what one would choose to be. By teenage years, puberty is seeking out what everyone else is doing, not trying to be dissimilar. But having the mindset of, “this is who I am,” I embraced the concept that things were not going to change. This in turn gave me realization that, I indeed benefited from while in High School! It showed me the way my mind was evolving to solve unique everyday problems.
Life changes everyday, and so did I. Never really knowing or understanding “why I do, what I do,” I was forced to realize that I would have to go down a different path. This concept I live every day; as long as I know where I want to be, it doesn’t really matter how I accomplish it, just as long as I get there. Being blessed with wonderful parents and a great support system, I was able to try out different techniques for problem solving, and like every scientific experiment, some worked and some didn’t. As long as I gave it my all, I won my internal battle with myself. Even if I failed, I succeeded.
Motivation is a huge quality of life, which I endear. Without it, I get extremely bored and “entropy” starts to kick in. I keep my mind activated by the idea or concept of “designing or discovering something new” and that the “importance of every new discovery, even a tiny one, is exciting.” For most individuals, entropy seems to be stronger, and they enjoy comfort more than the challenge of discovery. So I keep my mind active and pressure my self to stay mentally alive!
In a survey taken in 2009, people were asked to choose from a list, the best description of how they felt when doing whatever they enjoyed doing most. The answer most frequently chosen was “designing or discovering something new” (108). Even though I admire and study other artists, I still go about my creativity with a little twist of my own. I see one of their images and I think to myself, “how might I do this?” This is what motivates me, viewing others’ work. My creative eye is based on my past experiences and prior exposure to thousands of images. If there was never the thought, “I may possibly do better” or “what if I do it this way,” I would never be motivated to create something new for the universe. I truly believe that inspiration, is above all, what is needed the most!
“It is impossible to accomplish something that is truly new and worth while without struggling with it. It isn’t just in competitive sport that the saying ‘no pain, no gain’ applies.” (Freeman Dyson, 117)
My flow is when I am in a state of mind where everything is going well as an almost automatic, effortless, yet highly focused state of consciousness. And what is also compelling is that “the sense of time becomes distorted” (113). It is said that in flow, time dose not exist. In other words, clock time no longer marks equal lengths of experienced time. In scientific terms, they refer to it as hyper time. This is my favorite feeling!
A good example of when hyper time slows down time, is when Michael Jordan is 10 for 10 from the field and has just made the last four 3 pointers in a row, and the commenter says, “he’s on fire!” After one such game, he stated, “the game just seemed to slow down, I could see things before they where there, I was in my own world.” This is mind-blowing to me. I love that when I’m creatively working for 12 hours, minutes feel like hours. When you are in the zone, nothing else matters, except what you put your mind to. Every other distraction seems to be put on hold, and all exertion is put towards succeeding to the goal.
For an artist, the “new idea” is the goal and it is not so easily created. It is stated that, “the more the creative the problem, the less clear it is what needs to be done.” Meaning, the artistic person in one way or another must develop an unconscious means that tells him or her what to produce. Gyorgy Faludy usually does not start writing until a “voice” tells him, often in the middle of the night, “Gyorgy, its time to start writing.” He adds ruefully: “that the voice has my number, but I don’t have his.” The Ancients called that voice, the Muse.
“Muse communicates – through a glass darkly, as it were. It is a splendid arrangement, for if the artist were not tricked by the mystery, he or she might never venture into the unexplored territory.” (Robertson Davies, 115)
When I feel inspired, my mind thinks in a completely different way. Inspiration is the key to creating the optimal “image”. Even if I had all the time in the world, a creative mind, works best when under the pressures of life.
At times I wonder if I will ever really understand myself. I ask the question, “does it really matter?” My creativeness grows and changes everyday, and I will never really have a complete grasp of it, but that’s ok. Without that “grey” area, I would not attempt the new and exciting! I was told once, “find something you truly love and you will not work another day in your life!” This make sense with the concept of creative flow. When I get in the zone, it just effortlessly fall all into place.
It’s been awhile since I created something for me…